Firefly

soo I have a new love interest.. it's a TV show.. did not see that coming! It's soo good.. I try to remember the lines from it.. I think that's a problem with me.. There's soo much of my life I'd rather forget so remembering is soo hard.. My poor little brain.. Wht am I gonna do with this life.. god I feel so lost.. I like the show because they are people I'd want to know.. but they arn't real.. gorram! what am I gonna do?? no really.. what am I gonna do?? when I ask that question I think of killing myself and my eyes swell with tears.. I've been to counciling read the books.. gone on a trip.. I guess it's back to 12 step for me.. I mean what else has ever helped my stay out of drepression? addiction to men I guess.. but that's not good for me I don't think.. Maybe I should start hiking?? Lance and Nathan and Summer do.. they seem happy.. should I just copy them? role models and all??
PS I'll know I actually like Alex if I actually clean up my room.. well maybe I'll just know how ready or not ready I am.. stay humble right?