bla bla blah

ho hum..
so in the movie the character asks what's the burning word for you? mine was "freedom".. now what?

for the free sticker

only happy when...

I had the worst day at work.. something is wrong with me.. I feel so weird these days.. big K gave his notice yesterday.. should I follow suit? Do I hate my job or does my job hate me.. why don't I understand people? what do they get so grumpy for.. It affects me so much.. I can't stand it when other refuse to be cheered up.. it's hard..
the answer is be selfless.. but when I'm afraid I can't get there.. upset blocks my way to freedom.. freedom is the bliss of sureness.. I have wants.. everyday I want to know how to improve myself.. everyday I think I'm not good enough.. I'm in so much pain.. it shows in my shoulders now.. my back broke out.. is busting out to scream "NONONONONONONOOOOOOOOO!"
but no to what? who? where? when? now.. the answer is always now. right now I want to be more vain.. care about how I look and what others see.. care about what I see.. fuck.. I'm stuck in worry... "I"m ugly..I'm ugly..I'll never look better.. I'll never be good."
sigh.. the voices follow the progress like a shadow... the shadow that holds up the light..
my feet hurt
my heart is small.
my arms are growing..